


Photograph

by Katelyn_Watson_1991



Series: My Supernatural Life [50]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean in Purgatory, Diary/Journal, F/M, Heart Break, Original Character(s), Sam tries to make a move on Original Character, Songfic, Strong Female Characters, photograph, remembering the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-20 19:09:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11927361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katelyn_Watson_1991/pseuds/Katelyn_Watson_1991





	Photograph

I knelt on the forest floor, letting my tears fall. After a while, I looked up and realized I could see the cabin through the trees ahead, so I started to walk towards it. I was shell shocked, but I wasn't going to let myself fall into the same depression that I had when Bobby died. I was going to be strong for my children. They needed me more than ever and I needed them. 

I got to the cabin just as the sun was coming over the hills and trees. Sawyer was sitting in the kitchen with a look on her face that was a mix of fear, surprise, and relief. 

“You're alive!” she yelled, running to me as she started to cry. 

“I am,” I said as I let her cry. “Did Sam call?” 

“He told me what happened. Kelly, what are we going to do?” 

“We are going to get through this together as a family,” I said, looking into Sawyer’s eyes. “Is Sam coming back to the cabin?” 

“He should be here soon. He said something about hitting the road or something like that.” 

“Okay… we are going to get through this,” I said, going to the kid's room and saw my sleeping babies. 

At about 7:45 Sam got to the cabin. He walked, looking like he had been hit by a truck. The Impala was out front and looked just as bad. When he saw me he pulled me into a hug and started to sob. 

“Shhhh, Sam. It's okay. I’m here. We are going to get through this,” I said, as the tall man broke like he was a small child. Even though Sam was almost a foot taller than me I held him like I did when he was a little boy. 

At that moment a small voice came from behind me. “Mommy, why is unca Sam crying?” I turned and looked at my daughter, tears streaming down my face. “Mommy, why are you crying?” she asked, walking over to me. 

I bent down and looked Abby in the eyes. She looked up at Sam and reached for his hand and pulled him down to her level. She put her hands on both mine and Sam’s cheeks, and she seemed to know what was going on, but she still asked, “Mommy, what’s going on?” 

“Abby, Daddy and uncle Cas are gone. We don’t know where they are, but we will get them back,” I said. “I promise.” 

Abby’s eyes brimmed with tears. She wrapped her arms around my neck and cried. I started crying again and I looked at Sam. He pulled both of us into his lap and we cried together. When we had cried all of our tears I sent Sam to sit and rest with Abby. Sawyer brought BJ into the room and I started to straighten up the cabin. The next few weeks felt like life was moving in slow motion. I would play with the kids, work on the Impala, and do research on how to get Dean and Cas back. But I kept coming up empty. 

Sam was such a great help with the kids. He would rock BJ to sleep at night and he would sing with Abby. One night, about three weeks after Dean and Cas were gone, I had finished working on the Impala and came in to clean up after dinner. I was doing dishes when I felt two strong hands fall on my hips just like Dean used to do. I let out a sigh and Sam pulled me against his strong body. He started to kiss my neck. He turned me around so that I was facing him and he started to kiss me. That was when I was pulled out of the moment. 

I pulled away from Sam and started to cry. Sam was like my little brother. I was in love with Dean, and he was gone again. I felt sad, angry, and hurt all at the same time and I let Sam have all of it. 

“What the hell, Sam?” I yelled, pushing him away from me. 

“Kelly, I… I… I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean… I thought… I thought-” 

“You didn’t think!” I yelled, “Get out! Leave.” 

“Kelly, what are you…” 

“Sam, the Impala is finished. She will drive fine. I think it would be best if you leave now,” I said, then turned back to the sink, feeling the tears come to my eyes. 

Sawyer walked into the room, “What’s going on? Why are you yelling at one in the morning?” she asked. 

“Go to your room, Sawyer!” I yelled, forgetting that she was an adult. 

She obeyed but Sam was still standing there. My body was starting to shake and tremble. Sam took a step toward me and put his hand on my back to try to comfort me. 

I stepped away from him and went to the kid's room. I locked the door behind me and cried. I must have fallen asleep on the floor because Abby put her hands on my face, “Mommy, why are you in my room on the floor?” she asked. 

“Abby, Mommy got into a fight with Sam. He isn’t going to be with us anymore,” I said. 

Her eyes were sad but she didn’t ask any questions she just held onto me. We sat on the floor for a few minutes when she turned to me. “Mommy, will you read to me?” 

“Sure I will,” I said. 

She smiled and walked over to her bed and pulled out the last Harry Potter book from under her pillow. 

“Why is that under your pillow?” I asked as she walked back over to sitting in my lap so that she could hold the book while I read to her. 

“I keep it there so that I can hear the story when I sleep,” she said as if it were the most natural thing in the world. 

“Okay, I can respect that,” I said with a smile I opened the first page and the letter that Bobby had given to me was there. “Abby, why is this in here?” I asked. 

“You left it on the table and I wanted to keep it safe, so I put it in the safest place I could think… My book,” she said, looking up at me. 

I put the letter into my back pocket and read the first few chapters to Abby. When I finished reading, BJ was awake and standing in his crib, smiling and wanting to get out. I got him out and we went to eat breakfast. Sawyer had made pancakes for the kids and I just had a cup of coffee. I pulled out the letter from my back pocket. 

My dear Kelly, June 2010

If you are reading this it means that I am no longer with you. I am so sorry that I am not there for you. You are an amazing woman and you are an amazing mom. I know you and Abby are strong so you will be okay. I have watched you grow up and I couldn’t be more proud of you. If you go to these coordinates: 43.533799 / -96.720474 you will find a gift of the life you have always deserved but I could never give to you. I want you to make a life for yourself and I want you to be happy. I know life has been hard for you but I hope that the gift of this home will change everything. 

Love always, Dad. 

I was in tears reading that letter. After everything, Bobby was still taking care of me and my children and he had had this plan since before the apocalypse. I looked up the coordinates that Bobby had given me and I was taken aback. It was the house that I had planned to start raising my children in with Anthony. Bobby had got the house for me and Abby. He wanted us safe and out of the hunting life. He was my hero and I was going to miss him but I was going to honor his memory the best I could. 

The next day I called Jody and she helped me and the kids move to the house. It was quite the ordeal to move into the house. It was the perfect home, with five bedrooms and a huge yard, perfect for the dogs as well as for the kids to run and have fun. We were unpacking when Jody opened one of my boxes that was labeled ‘junk’. She pulled out a journal that must have been Dean’s because I hadn’t seen it before. 

“Kelly, have you seen these before?” she asked, opening the journal and finding something inside. 

“No, Jody. What are they?” 

“They look like pictures from when you and Dean were kids. Do you want to see them?” 

“Yes, please.” I took the journal from her and started to go through the pages. There were pictures of us from the time we were kids until Abby was a baby. I looked up at Jody with sad eyes. “Can you watch the kids for a little bit?” 

“Sure thing, Sweetheart,” she answered, taking BJ from the swing. I went and sat down in the middle of the bed. 

 

Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes  
But it's the only thing that I know  
When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes  
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

 

I flipped through the pages and I came across a page that took my breath away it said, ‘missing my girls, I really fucked up,’ ‘June 2011’ which meant that he had written this when he was with Lisa. My eyes filled with tears and I picked up the first two pictures. They were taped together on the first page. 

 

We keep this love in a photograph  
We made these memories for ourselves  
Where our eyes are never closing  
Hearts are never broken  
And time's forever frozen still

 

They were a before and after shot of my real first hunt without Bobby. It was 1996, and Dean and I were standing next to my car. The second was almost identical except for Dean having a black eye and me having a sling around my arm. Then there was the letter. 

“Wow, 1996. That was almost fifteen years ago. So much had happened since our first job as a team without Dad or Bobby. Man, that hunt was a lot harder than it was supposed to be. If I remembered correctly it was a vamp nest. Bobby was such a hard ass about me protecting Kelly. He made me swear that I would protect her. I did. There was no reason for him to worry. I would have laid down my life for her. She was my best friend and after I saw her almost die to try to save me from that vamp. I was in love with her. When we got to the hospital to get each other checked out and they said she had a separated shoulder and two broken ribs. I got out lucky with only a black eye and a few cuts along my cheek. Bobby was pissed and I felt responsible for her getting hurt but she never did. She didn’t want me to feel guilty about her being reckless. She was amazing even then…”

I put the pictures back into their spot and turned to the next page 

 

So you can keep me  
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans  
Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet  
You won't ever be alone, wait for me to come home

 

It was a picture of prom night. I didn’t know that Dean had kept a picture from prom. I assumed that he didn’t really care about prom, that he just did it for me, but finding the picture from that night was so special. I remember that after that night after we left the dance he drove around the town and we talked about the life we dreamed of and the future we wanted.

“Prom 1998… I wasn’t one to dance. I still don’t enjoy it. But that night… That night was special. She didn’t have to ask me, she could have asked anyone to that dance but she asked me. I was taken by surprise, I had never been to a school dance and I was so nervous when she asked me. And I almost said no but I knew she wanted me to come and that it meant a lot to her so I did. I don’t remember the dance that much but I remember how beautiful Kelly was in her dress and I remember after the dance. We were driving and talking about the future. Kelly had said that she wanted to help people and hunt monsters. She was such a badass and I was a fool if I was going to let her go. I was only 19 and she was almost 18 but I knew from that moment on that I wanted to be with her. I remember she made me stop the car. I did; she wanted to dance on the bridge. I turned on the radio and pointed my headlights on her and let her dance. She was so carefree. I was laying on the hood of the Impala watching her. She smiled at me and I melted. I wanted her more than anything in the whole world. That was when I got off of the hood and walked over to her. She made me feel safe, she made me feel like I was my own man. That I didn’t need to try to prove myself to my dad. I just had to be me. I remember I pulled her close to me and told her that she was the most amazing, the most beautiful, the most strong, the most badass hunter that ever lived and that I would marry her in a heartbeat if she let me. She pushed me away and looked shocked I know I had never told her how I felt, I had never felt that way for any girl so it was new territory. She looked at me and shook her head and said she wanted to kiss me and shove me off of the bridge all at the same time. I asked if I could choose for her and I kissed her. It was a perfect kiss it was our first kiss and I would never trade it for the world…”

The page was covered in tears as I remembered prom night. It had been amazing and it was something that I would never forget. I turned to the next page and found another picture. 

 

Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul  
And it's the only thing that I know, know  
I swear it will get easier,  
Remember that with every piece of you  
Hm, and it's the only thing we take with us when we die

 

It was a selfie pose of Dean and me in the living room at Bobby’s. I remembered the day perfectly. We had spent the day fixing our cars, eating crap food, watching movies, as well as participating in Dean’s favorite extracurricular activity together because Dean was needing a weekend to relax before he went to Hell and all. 

“2008… This was the best weekend of my life. I got to spend it as carefree as I could be with everything that was going on. I didn’t want that weekend to end. I wanted to spend as much time with Kelly as possible. I couldn’t help but fall in love with her. I knew it wasn’t fair of me to get involved with her I was going to be in Hell and she was going to be stuck here. I felt so guilty that I was putting her through this. She had already lost so much I didn’t want to make her suffer anymore. But she wouldn’t hear of it. She had told me that she loved me and that she would do whatever she could to save me. I wanted so much for us to be a family and I wanted to tell her just how much I had wanted to be with her forever. If only we had had more time. She had been my dream from the day I met her in 1991. She was what every man wanted in a woman but somehow she chose me. And I was leaving her but she was fighting for me as well as along side me no matter what…”

In 2008 after Dean went to Hell, I found out that I was pregnant with Abby and it was the start of a brand new adventure. I turned the page and I pulled out the next picture. 

 

Hm, we keep this love in this photograph  
We made these memories for ourselves  
Where our eyes are never closing  
Hearts were never broken  
And time's forever frozen still

 

It took my breath away. It was a picture of us at the lake. Dean was standing behind me with his arms around my waist as he kissed my cheek. I was holding Abby with a huge smile on my face. Abby must have been about two months old at the time. It made me smile to see her so small. 

“2009… We became parents… Parents… It was a fear that I had… I was afraid that I was going to be like my dad… I didn’t want to fuck up another kid. The hunting life was something I never wanted to bring a kid into. But then I looked at Kelly. She was strong, beautiful, and such an amazing mom. How did I luck out on getting to have her in my life… I fucked up leaving her but that doesn't matter right now. She was an amazing mom… Is… She is an amazing mom… She loves our daughter. When I found out that we were having a girl I remember feeling scared as well as so excited. I hoped that she was going to be just like Kelly. Kelly was perfect and I knew that our daughter would be just like her. I remember when Kelly getting really sick. So sick she didn’t get out of bed for two days so I went over to Bobby’s and helped like any good dad should. I was changing Abby’s diaper and I thought I was going to puke Abby was giggling and cooing at me and then I heard Kelly in the doorway and she just laughed it was a weak laugh but it was real and said ‘It’s poop, not nuclear waste, Chill out.’ She then walked over to Abby changed her diaper no problem and put Abby into her new clothes and smiled at me… Damn that smile… I miss that smile… I need her back. How can I get her back?…”

This journal was killing me. I thought that the year without Dean had been hard for me and the girls. I guess it had been hard on him as well. I looked down at the pages of the journal and saw that there were only a few more. I contemplated putting the journal down and saving it for when I needed it but then I decided to continue to read and remember. I turned to the next page and was met with the faces of Sam, Dean, and I when we were kids and it made me smile.

 

So you can keep me  
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans  
Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet  
You won't ever be alone

 

It was a picture from Halloween 1992. The only reason I knew this is because the three of us were standing on the porch at Bobby’s house. I was dressed as Catwoman, Dean was Batman, and Sam was Robin. We were all holding pillowcases, ready to take on our neighborhood to get as much candy as we possibly could. That Halloween was the year that Sam, Dean, and I learned how good of a team we were. 

“Halloween 1992… I was Batman and I looked good. That night we ruled the neighborhood. We thought we were awesome and we were. We got so much candy. If I remember correctly we were on our way back to Bobby’s and we were walking when we came toward an abandoned house. We were walking past when I noticed that the lights in the basement were on and they were flickering. I turned to Kelly and dared her to go into the basement. I thought I was too cool and too funny to dare her to do something that I thought she would be too scared to do. She then turned to me and crossed her arms just like she does now and said ‘Creepy flashy lights in the basement? That’s some horror movie shit right there. There is no way in hell I am going down there.’ I swear that I was shocked that she cussed at me. I asked if she was scared in a teasing way. She took a deep breath, looked at me dead in the eyes and said. ‘No, Winchester. I’m not. But I don’t have a death wish.’ She was so smart. We were arguing when we noticed that Sam wasn’t standing next to us. We looked around and then we heard a loud crash and screams coming from the basement. I remember thinking that we were so dead. We ran into the house and found Sam surrounded by teenagers who had been playing with an ouija board. When we got to Sam he was fine he was just a little banged up however when we turned to leave there was a full body spirit. It was a woman standing behind us. It was the ghost of the woman who lived here. She got an evil smile on her face and I remember that I was scared. But Kelly, Kelly was awesome. She pulled Sam behind her protectively and she pulled out a sawed off shotgun from her candy bag and pointed it at the ghost. There was no fear. She was ready to kick it in the ass. All the teenagers were freaking out and Kelly just shot at the ghost and it disappeared. She turned and took charge. For someone who had so much pain and suffering in her life, she was so strong and she was a true leader. She turned to the teenagers who were all freaking out and got their attention. She asked if they had any salt, and someone found some and she made a circle. Then she turned her attention back to how to kill the ghost. She asked where they got the ouija board they told her at an old pawnshop and that they were communicating with its last owner they were still freaking out but Kelly was still taking charge. She was calm and ready for whatever was going to come. Sam, for being nine, was new to knowing that monsters were real but he was strong and good at fighting. He took out the ghost by burning the Ouija board. We headed home and Kelly told Bobby what happened. He was upset but he was proud that she handled herself well. Kelly helped Sam sleep that night. He fell asleep with his head in her lap and she played with his hair and I watched as another person took care of my brother almost as much as I did… She was a good friend…”

I remembered that night and it made me smile. Life had been so simple and I was so happy. Even though there were monsters and dumb teenagers who played with ouija boards and summoned ghosts, everyone was there to help, even the little twelve-year-old girl. I couldn’t believe that Dean remembered that night. I turned the page and saw another picture. 

 

And if you hurt me  
That's okay baby, only words bleed  
Inside these pages you just hold me  
And I won't ever let you go

 

It was a picture of Dean and Me at graduation. My gown was open revealing my combat boots and Led Zeppelin t-shirt under it. Dean’s arm was around my shoulder and he had a proud smile on his face. 

“1998… Kelly graduated. I was so proud of her. She finished high school. She spoke in front of everyone and she did amazing. I remember after the ceremony she ran and gave me a hug and it made my heart jump. She looked so beautiful and she smelled amazing. I was standing next to Sam while she was talking to Bobby. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I guess I had been staring for awhile because Sam turned to me and said, ‘Go talk to her already. You’ve been standing here staring at her and it’s starting to get weird.’ I pushed him a little and shook my head. But Sam wasn’t wrong, I really liked Kelly and there wasn’t anything going to stop me from showing her how I felt. That was when I walked over to her and kissed her right in front of everyone. Bobby laughed and said ‘It’s about time you made a move, Winchester.’ and Sam whooped and hollered at us. She was so surprised. It wasn’t the first time that I kissed her but it was the first time that I had in front of everyone. She pulled away and smiled and me. It was almost as if we were destined to be together. As if God had ordained it to be before time began. And now not being together it’s killing me…”

I looked up to the sky and shook my head. If God was alive he would be taking care of us. If he was good he wouldn’t have taken Dean away from me again. I was so angry that he wasn’t helping me. I realized that I only had a few more pages left so I decided to keep going. 

 

Wait for me to come home  
Wait for me to come home  
Wait for me to come home  
Wait for me to come home

 

It was my favorite picture of us as a family. It was so simple yet it meant the most. Dean and I were leaning against the Impala and he was kissing me, Abby looking at the camera smiling and reaching up for me. 

“2010… The world was going to hell but every time I looked at Kelly and Abby my world went back to normal. We were a family and it was good. However, I always felt like something was missing. And it was a home. Kelly and Abby were living with Bobby. Yes, it was good but I wished that I could give them the home that they deserve. It wasn’t fair for them. I felt like I was letting them down. I also felt like a failure as a father. I wasn’t there for my daughter. I wasn’t there for her and it was killing me. She was growing every day and I was missing it. She was so beautiful and I know that Kelly said that she looked like me and that she has my eyes but every time I looked at her I saw Kelly. She was going to be a beautiful girl and didn’t want to miss it… But look at me now… I am sitting in a house that isn’t mine with a woman that I am trying to love the best that I can and take care of a son that she says is mine… But something doesn’t feel right about being here. I don’t feel like I am home… I haven’t felt like I have been home since I was with Kelly and that was almost a year ago. My daughter is almost 3 and I am missing her grow… I really want to see them… I need them back… It’s time for me to get home to my girls…”

I was a mess of tears. I sat there for a long time and then pulled myself together. I turned the page and found another photograph. 

 

You can fit me  
Inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen  
Next to your heartbeat where I should be  
Keep it deep within your soul

 

It was a picture of Dean and me on my sixteenth birthday. I was wearing a crown and sash that said ‘sweet 16’ and Dean was wearing a bright pink boa and making a pouty face with his arm around my shoulders. It had been a fun night. 

“1996… Kelly was 16. She had always been beautiful but now she was drop dead gorgeous. Her hair was beautiful and every time I looked into her eyes I felt like I was drowning they were so blue and her lips… they were so pink and they looked so soft… I hadn’t expressed how much I wanted to show her how much I cared for her. So I waited until the party was over and when Sam, dad, and Bobby were asleep. I knocked on her door and when she answered her hair was in a long braid with a pair of shorts and a tank top. It took my breath away. She was surprised to see me. I asked if I could give her a gift. I had saved some money that I made from hustling pool and bought the perfect gift. It was a gold heart shaped locket. I put a picture of me on one side and a picture of Sam in the other. And in the card, I wrote something sappy… I don't remember but whatever it was it worked because she started to cry and she said she loved it. She hugged me and said she would wear it always. And she leaned in kissing my cheek. Her lips were perfect on my cheek and they lingered a little almost waiting for me to make the next move. But it didn't happen that night. And that was the worst part I could have kissed her but I was too much of a wimp. She was amazing and I wanted to keep her for myself… she was the person who I wanted to live life with and I didn't understand why. My dad always said that she was like mom. At that moment I never wanted to let her go…”

I remembered that locket. I got off of the bed and opened the lid to the box marked jewelry. It wasn’t a big box, more about the size of a shoe box. I found a long white box at the bottom and I pulled it out went back over to the bed and sat back down in my spot. I opened the lid and I found the locket. I put it away when I started dating Logan and I just never thought about it. I opened it and I was met with the faces of a very young Sam and Dean. It made me smile, remembering us so young and carefree. I wished we could go back to those days. I put the locket on and picked the journal back up and turned to the next page and it made me laugh.

 

And if you hurt me  
Well, that's okay baby, only words bleed  
Inside these pages you just hold me  
And I won't ever let you go

 

It was a picture of Sam, Dean, and me. It was the year that they were going to be staying with us for a while so we were all going to the school together. Dean and I were going to the same school because the junior and high schools were combined. Poor Sam was going to be on his own for a year at the elementary school, but it was right next to our school. That was a fun first half of the year. The picture was very comical because Bobby caught the exact moment that I was sneezing making an extremely attractive face. Sam was smiling his normal big happy smile, and Dean was turning his head to look at me with shocked eyes. 

“1993… Freshman year of high school. I always hated school. I wasn’t built to be in a school, I was a hunter. I wanted to be on the road with dad. I was pissed that I had to stay at Bobby’s. I felt like dad didn’t want me to help or that I wasn’t good enough. I made it known that I didn’t want to be there and that I wanted to be on the road with dad. I feel bad about it now but I do remember that Kelly told me the day before we were going to school and she walked into my room and sat on my bed and we talked. She told me that she was happy that Sam and I were here. She said that she loved having us here and that I should be nice to Bobby because he loved Sam and me like his own kids. I felt bad that I had been a dick to everyone so the next day I decided that I was going to be better the next day. The next morning Bobby said he wanted to take a picture of us before we left. I guess that he had been doing that with Kelly every year. So we did. But just as Bobby was going to take the picture Kelly sneezed. It was such a small noise I was shocked. I turned to her and asked. ‘What the hell kind of noise was that?’ ‘I sneezed,’ she answered flatly. ‘That was not a sneeze. It sounded more like a fly fart. It was so small,’ I answered teasing her. The next thing I knew her hand connected with the back of my head. It took me by surprise. She shook her head at me and crossed her arms over her chest she then turned to Bobby and said, ‘One more picture, please.’ We reset the picture and she took Sam’s hand and smiled so sweetly at Bobby. I draped my arm over Kell’s shoulder and gave a decent smile. Even though that was the picture that we meant to get the first one was the best one. It was a perfect moment to capture. I remember walking over to Bobby and asking for the first picture. I knew she would hate the way she looked but that was a real moment that I will cherish for the rest of my life…”

I remembered that day and the rest of the school year. Dean had been a ladies man and he had several girlfriends. However, every time a boy looked at me or talked to me, Dean would get jealous and he would pout. It was hard living the double standards of Dean Winchester. I never knew that he felt this way when we were kids. This journal was almost like having Dean with me and if I didn’t have it I would probably be lost. 

 

When I'm away, I will remember how you kissed me  
Under the lamppost back on Sixth street  
Hearing you whisper through the phone,  
"Wait for me to come home."

 

I wiped the tears from my face and closed the journal. I put it on the bedside table and walked out of the room. I could hear Abby singing to BJ. They were in the kitchen with Jody and Sawyer. It made me smile to think about my babies. I missed my two Winchesters but I was determined to be the best mom I could be. I walked into the kitchen and everyone looked at me. Jody stood up and walked over to me. 

“Are you okay?” she asked. 

“I’m going to be perfectly fine,” I answered, giving her a hug. 

“That is the best news I have heard all day,” she said, pulling away from me. 

I walked over to Abby and BJ and held them close to me. “We may be a small and broken family but we are going to get through this together,” I said, looking over at Sawyer. 

She walked over to me and joined into our group hug. Jody made dinner for us and we enjoyed our new home. 

Before Jody left, she pulled me aside. “Are you really going to be okay?” 

“I’m not going to fall off the wagon… again,” I said, looking Jody in the eyes. “I did that once. I don’t want to do that again.” 

“I’m here for you and those kids in there,” she said, walking to her car then turning back to me. “Don’t be afraid to ask.” 

“I will definitely be asking for help,” I said. “Thank you so much for everything.” 

“You don’t need to say thank you. Just be a mom to those kids in there,” she said. 

“I will,” I said as Sawyer brought a sleeping baby out to me. Abby was following close behind. 

“Bye, Aunty Jody!” she yelled. “I love you!” 

“Bye, Baby girl. Be good,” she called, getting into the car and driving down the road. 

I held my now crying baby boy close to me. “Bobby John, let’s get you into bed.” 

I walked him into his room and put him in his crib, then put Abby into her bed. Sawyer was in her room and. I went to my room wrapped my body in the old crocheted blanket and thought about all the memories of my boys. I hated that Dean was gone but I was going to honor his memory by being the best mom and hunter that I could be.

 

Song:  
Photograph  
Ed Sheeran


End file.
